Category: 2021 Posts

  • A rocky cliffside
    jagged and beaten
    hides a reservoir
    as water drips
    through moonbeams
    the cracks of clenched fists
    a candle wanes with dignity
    wax melting
    stronger than electricity
    listen explorer
    the cavern speaks
    tremors
    fear its rumbling
    swaying everything
    hold still
    the ripple
    from a drop
    as mountains melt
    submit
    rocks fall into water

  • Quiet room
    Deathly
    Cold
    Silent steps
    Starless night
    Still air
    The night before
    Bathed
    In water
    Wine
    Before blood
    A wedding eve
    Hard
    On dust and sand
    Sobriety
    Uninvited
    Simple
    Not just my feet
    Stops
    Time
    Kingship
    Everything
    Unprotected

  • If heaven is as good as it sounds

    then take me there

    to a place that is forever

    white and green with eternal springtime

    like in stories where bread fall from the sky

    like ash flakes after a campfire in the morning

    like hope descending and unbecoming

    where there is only love

    where we are going

    and more than I love

    as good as it sounds

    than impermanence

    our life here below

    our sadness

    beyond present dissatisfaction

    raised up to heaven

    won’t I gawk

    on the table unspent

    forever mirthy

    a joy that lasts

    for nothing dies

    like flowers

    alive and held

    so unweary

    undemandingly

  • There is magic in my lungs

    my heart is a cathedral

    my tears are waterfalls

    my hair is salty and bitter

    my knees have scraped

    against the hard grain of rigour

    they hold the valleys of the world

    my hands carve its timber

    my brain holds a treasure

    existence in a pool

    fed by blood so rich

    my golden regal tooth

    my soul screams the loudest

    if I listen to its tune

    a hear the golden cymbals

    I feel all life illume

  • Things are feeling better now but I don’t know
    whether they actually are better. Nothing
    has changed – the cogs continue to turn.
    The home is panopticon. State is self-surveillance
    in the disintegrated human-
    every mistake, a crushing boulder,
    when one hope is lost, a faint firefly
    I still hate myself I still feel like I need help
    Have you forgotten how to live? Why
    try to do everything yourself? Trauma shrugs
    it doesn’t go. Ribcages tighten and collapse
    It is much easier to hate and remain inside
    to not move forward.
    Lungs are out of breath
    become again.
    “I’m worried about you.
    Let’s talk.”
    as if talking would change anything
    but remind me that I am loved
    All I want to proclaim is that I don’t recognise myself.
    Love – a question or an open invitation?
    What is the answer to suffering?
    Not death. I don’t remember much of it anymore.
    Only love, always suffering, union this side of the veil.
    Always love. Who? I was looking at faces in RGB.
    I didn’t expect the outside world to be so green.

    Singapore returns to Phase 2 of Covid-19 restrictions after an influx of community-spread cases.

  • why did she remember
    his favourite brand of cigarettes
    when she
    tried to remember
    their distance
    when she questioned
    how much she loved him
    choking
    between wafts
    staring at her curtains
    the breeze rustles
    the balcony
    his disheveled hair
    his smell
    his shirt
    his favourite spot to flirt
    if only
    she loved better
    or never asked
    she should never have asked
    for more
    than the smell of tobacco
    from him
    for him to love her more
    if she loved better instead
    if
    to breathe
    more than
    oxygen tinted memories
    in between bursts
    burning polyps
    but why
    it never mattered
    would he have stayed
    not her tears or his promises
    nor the spot he left behind
    where she still revisits
    if she looked at him more
    would he still be there
    at the balcony
    smoking his favourite
    the last thing he left behind
    other than her
    now melting
    burnt to throw

  • she lit a cigarette for the first time
    it hung in between the space
    of her middle and forefinger

    smoke haunted the living room
    where she sat crossed legged on the floor
    inhaling quietly

    she never took a puff
    but let it burn away
    because she missed the smell

    it choked her and clogged her eyes
    it always had
    it hurt

    she let it happen
    the night turned grey and passed
    with slightly bitter tears

  • Twiddling my thumbs at the midsection of noonday, I gave up on life
    and all that it promised: green edible leaves, the cornucopia, fresh water.
    I didn’t know who I was anymore after relinquishing control
    so I decided to just walk away from everything in my mind
    I couldn’t quite comprehend the sensation in my fingertips, the sweat
    rolling down my skin, traversing through the canyons of raised
    hair follicles. I know I am not that good a person but I never
    expected to see such a broken figuration, my guts spilling out.
    My brain. I had a hernia once, it almost ruptured my genitals
    when my large intestine fell into a place that it shouldn’t have.
    I look back. I could have died. My brain is also empty. It echoes
    with the silence that nothing mattered if I wasn’t rushed to the hospital
    or if I didn’t live up to this gift of life, this great surprise.
    I look at the potted plant on my counter. It is a money plant
    dropping down like all crawlers do. It is the ultimate household plant
    Money plants do not require much watering or sunlight. I wonder why it tries so hard.
    My phone buzzes. I read everything but there was nothing of note or
    nothing to note. No duty, no responsibilities save the ones I make up
    for myself in my head, these foreigners. To God, family and country. Never did I
    ever feel so selfish than at the dark noon of midday when in the middle
    of my siesta that I decided to drop the ball. To die like everything mattered
    and accepting that I couldn’t lift even a finger to die.

  • To Michael Hogan

    I thought the red
    between us
    was fire
    dark and
    brilliant
    consuming
    all flaxen
    but it was blood
    and everything began
    to exist
    in our shared body
    of the Lord’s
    hands and feet
    a majestic wave
    like clouds
    swallowing the smog
    of all covenantal
    sacrifices
    and all my pain
    began to glow and illumine
    this darkened soul
    who once was spent
    cursing
    in the shadows
    of flames
    where rivers of life now flow
    waterfalls
    from chasms within
    a great cathedral

  • A single branch
    peers
    down a cliffside

    whispers
    cut
    into its splinters

    rocky
    dry
    a leaf falls

    cold
    victorious
    a single branch