why did she remember
his favourite brand of cigarettes
when she
tried to remember
their distance
when she questioned
how much she loved him
choking
between wafts
staring at her curtains
the breeze rustles
the balcony
his disheveled hair
his smell
his shirt
his favourite spot to flirt
if only
she loved better
or never asked
she should never have asked
for more
than the smell of tobacco
from him
for him to love her more
if she loved better instead
if
to breathe
more than
oxygen tinted memories
in between bursts
burning polyps
but why
it never mattered
would he have stayed
not her tears or his promises
nor the spot he left behind
where she still revisits
if she looked at him more
would he still be there
at the balcony
smoking his favourite
the last thing he left behind
other than her
now melting
burnt to throw
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